Kiss N Tell #3

Why is it that I care so much, but do not care at all about you.

You were the one who led me on.

You convinced me that you were different from the rest.

You said you missed me.

You wanted me to be there with you.

You told me that you wanted me to kiss you.

You wanted me to hold you.

You said you would change.

You said that you'd make time for me.

But;

You LED me on.

You proved to be worse than the rest.

You never missed me.

You never talked to me.

You didn't change.

You said I just got in the way.

You ignored me.

You made me cry.

You didn't even realize what you did to me.

You broke your promise.

You don't care.

Why can't I realize that you aren't good for me. I'm so much better off without you, but for some reason, I can't forget you. Maybe it's because you just left without leaving. You're still there, but you're not. Maybe it's because you said you cared, but showed that you didn't. That bothers me. Not knowing why you did this really flusters me, and confuses me. I know you're not worth it. I know I deserve better than you. I HAVE better than you. But you, you're just a shadow in the back of my mind. Showing yourself to me periodically.

When am I going to realize that I don't need you. I never needed you. The thought of you was nice, but you were just a thought, nothing more than that. I'm moving on with my life, and if you decide to come back, I hope my shoulder leaves you cold as ice.

New Journey #2

I can't tell you how excited I am to start my very first job. Yes, you may be thinking, "well Linda, you're 19 and you haven't had a job yet?" The answer to that is obviously yes, but do not go judging me as being irresponsible, apathetic, or resistant. Throughout my Junior and Senior years of high school, I was intensively involved with an extracurricular activity. I had practices everyday after school for two hours, then book loads of homework. Friday nights consisted of games that lasted until 10 pm, and weekends full of volunteering. Squeezing a job in such a tight schedule would have gnawed me to the bone. Since graduation, however, I've been searching everywhere for a job, but in this economy, it's slim to none. Luckily for me, my best friend was able to land me an interview with her boss, and I was hired. This may be "cheating", but hey, it's a job and I'll take it :) Now onto the reasons for my excitement. I feel so comfortable and so in-place whenever I am inside this restaurant. The employees who work there, and even the managers, all get along like a big family and have so much fun while working. Being yourself is the only option. I love to talk, make people laugh, make myself laugh, help others, and just enjoy what ever it is I'm doing. This job does not put a limit on the things I love, rather, it is expected that I keep perusing what I love. I'm not saying that this job is going to be an easy one, no. It requires great determination and responsibility. There are expected ways of accomplishing tasks, and if these tasks are not accomplished, there are serious consequences. These consequences aren't meant to scare someone, or make them afraid to work. They make you stronger as an employee, and in the long term, can provide great privileges. I cannot wait to begin my journey as an employee for this establishment. With the friendliest people, great atmosphere, and high expectations, I know that I will enjoy my time working :)

Saturday, March 20, 2010 #1

The thought of serious blogging has never really struck me as something that I'd find an interest in pursuing. However, last night I was having a discussion with one of my good friends about a few bumps in the road of my life. He referred me to his blog page, where I read posts that helped me realize that these bumps shouldn't hold me back from succeeding in my life. Today during my English class, rather than pay attention to my Professor's ongoing rave of a short story she is writing, I thought about the whole 'blogging' idea, and how I wanted to express my opinions, and even help those who could be struggling with detours. I really do love helping others, and I find comfort in typing down my thoughts. So I put one and one together, and decided that my thoughts could help others who are seeking for answers, closure, or anything of this sort. Now, I don't only want to use these blogs as helpful insight to others, but I also want a place where I can come home and just type away on my experiences from the day. Maybe a few poems will pop up, and maybe I'll just write song lyrics. I'm not 100% sure. I am a very random and sporadic individual, so there is no knowing for sure what will pour into this blog.